“If you were a bird, and lived on high,
You’d lean on the wind when the wind came by,
You’d say to the wind when it took you away:
“That’s where I wanted to go today!”
I have done a bit of a redesign on the page, and I have done a bit of a redesign on myself since I was last very active on here.
One thing you might notice is that I have changed my name!
My gender and lack thereof has been something I have tried to be very open about on my social media, as scary as it was. I know that other people being open about their struggles was what gave me the courage to be more truthful about myself. I don’t know if I will ever be “done” sorting myself out, but I felt more ready to take a permanent step.
My birthname never fit right, this was something I understood before I had a name for what I was feeling. I had always shortened it to a one syllable version which was tolerable at best. This was fine. I had tried on other names, at larps mostly, to imagine what it was like to have a name that felt more… me.
I used Ben for a bit, I really loved it. I felt like it made me more, I don’t know, real. I felt like I could kinda lean into it, be a little cocky, a little more arrogant than I allowed myself. But ultimately, I know too many really wonderful Bens, and it stopped feeling right.
It hit me at a certain point a couple years ago that Wren was A LOT like Ben, was non gender specific, and also was a bird, a very cute bird I liked very much. The king of all birds, even. (Insert winky face here for my pal Stephen.) I of course, being the king of my own anxiety kept shoving Wren away because I was afraid of people thinking I was being frivolous or overly fanciful.
I repeatedly came back to Wren when I danced around the idea of changing my name, and recently after meeting another enby on Twitter named Ren, I decided to just do it. I loved the name, my shortened birthname made me cringe, and so what if people think I am frivolous? I post parrot pictures online, of COURSE I am frivolous.
In fanciful conclusion, my name is Wren! And I feel fantastic about it!